I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm so sorry. The only thing I can assure you of is the fact that I am aware that the elements I used for my blog title don't actually spell what one might think at first glance. Beware of opinion/rant barfs. D:
Just in case you don’t hear from me after tomorrow or Friday, I have inevitably died of some sort of anxiety overdose. Or I’ve stressed myself into a puddle and I can’t solidify again.
Because tomorrow is my overnight orientation at NKU. Oh gods.
I’m just going to stress all over this post below the read more and you can go about your day if you don’t want to jump into a jumbled, scattered hell of what-is-Blemy-talking-about ohhh
My parents throw a fit when, if we were going to go eat or go out somewhere or do something, we aren’t all up and out the door before like 10 in the morning. Defiantly if not before 12. No matter what we’re doing, they feel we have to do it early, and by 2 in the afternoon “omg it’s way too late why wouldn’t you get up earlier now we can’t do anything”. We have a whole damn day left still. The day doesn’t END after 12, we can do shit in the afternoon too. I don’t want to get up at 8 in the morning to go eat because that’s too early for me to have to do things. I’m not hungry that early. I stay up late and like to sleep in (I know I suck I am a lazy horrible person), and I can still go do stuff after noon has past. Exceptions would be like if you’re going to Kings Island or somewhere to spend the whole day, or you have to be someone at a specific time like a concert or something, but other than that… You can go whenever you want. Walmart doesn’t say “lol fuck you” once it hits afternoon. Walmart doesn’t care if you get there at midnight. See how accepting it is of people that don’t want to get up early?
Or maybe I’m the only person in the world that doesn’t like to really do things early. Bah
(Notably a very skippable and useless post)
I fell asleep at 7 this morning because my mind likes to torture me with thoughts. And also scary games should not be played before sleeping. Especially when as soon as you turn the light out your dog starts barking and growling at the darkness where nothing should be so I NEED LIGHTS BECAUSE I CAN’T HANDLE THINGS.
I wanted to talk about something that happened a while ago but I’m so tired I don’t know if I know how to type right so meh not gonna do that. It seemed important before 3 hours of sleep but now I just don’t know. I think I’m doing it right, this whole typing thing that is, or it just seems okay in my mind and I’m actually not even hitting any of the right letters and this is just a jumble of confusion to everyone else. I’ll try to remember to check later…
What am I talking about?
Oh. Morning. Right.
Apparently everyone around here jumps up in the morning like a little ball of sunshine and doesn’t mind barging into my room when I am trying to sleep, shoving mail in my face from college and going “omg what’s that say I don’t know what were supposed to do on such and such date but we need to know that have you opened it yet why haven’t you opened it yet I was on facebook and I couldn’t get words with friends to work Hannah fix the computer fix facebook fix the internet why won’t it load this page tell me everything about everything else right now at this very moment in time and why haven’t you opened that letter yet what’s it about what do you think it’s about what does your college have to say Hannah open the letter whats it say you need to clean your room all you do it lay around what are you doing open letter I wanna know what it says maybe its important does it tell us what to do about this or that because I want to know hey whats the letter say blah blah blah la de blah da” AND MY GOD I JUST WOKE UP STOP TALKING PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS FLUFFY WILL YOU JUST SIT DOWN AND GIVE ME LIKE TEN MINUTED TO RESURRECT MYSELF FROM THE DEAD STATE OF MY CURRENT FUCKING-TIRED SELF I CAN’T EVEN MOM WHY.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. But sometimes I just want to lock her in a closet so she’ll leave me alone for a little while and stop asking me how to spell words all the time because you have google mom and spellcheck and a dictionary sitting right next to you that’s what they’re there for okay don’t ask me how to spell everything because I’m not particularly good at spelling off the top of my head anyways. And she always asked me questions about things I just don’t know about, and I tell her I don’t know, but she keeps asking and gets mad when the 50th time I say “I don’t know” it comes out a little snappy and she gets all pissed off at me and tells me I need to watch my tone. She gets even more pissed off when instead of answering all of her questions myself I tell her to google it and acts like I offened her and takes my “just google it” as “mom I hate you don’t talk to me I’m banishing you to the wastelands of go fuck yourself and I’m also taking this giant bucket of love you have me and dumping it in the sewer” when ALL I MEAN is to google it. Google knows things. I don’t know as much as google. Why can’t you just use google mom. And why do you use Internet Explorer still and then complain to me about how it’s slow when you have google chrome installed on your computer that you could use instead. I don’t understand you.
That’s my way of switching topics.
But I don’t really have another topic to switch to… I had another thing to rant about but I forgot what it was, so clearly it’s not that important or bothersome to me right now. This is basically just a giant ball of ranting because 3 hours of sleep which I know people out there get less, some don’t sleep at all, I’m not saying “omg you guys my life is the worst because all I got was 3 hours of sleep” I’m just saying for me, I think I need more then that because tired. And I just woke up, and I am not at all in any way, shape, or form a morning person no matter how much my mom thinks I should be I just can’t handle people for the first 1-2 hours of my day mehhhh
HERE. TAKE THIS. IT IS MUCH BETTER THAN MY USELESS RAMBLINGS.
How do I water?
There are so many repo shows around it’s ridiculous.
But what’s more ridiculous is that on ALL of them, every single person that ever gets told “Hey your car is up for repossession” is able to stand there, get all pissed off, and be like “OH HELL NO IT’S NOT WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO TAKE MY CAR HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN NO I WON’T LET YOU RAAGGGEEEEEEEEE” and act like the world is out to get them and they don’t understand why they have to lose their car.
They only repossess cars when you don’t pay them off. I’m pretty sure they’ll be nice enough to give you a few heads up like “Hey bro, pay off your car or you’ll like, loose that shit, okay?” or warn them somehow before they send repo people out to go get it. But even if they don’t, you KNOW you’re not paying it off, so…
You have to know if you’re not making payments on your car.
How would you not know that you’re not paying off your car. If you’re not making payments for your car, then hey, you’re not paying off your car so it’s going to get repossessed. It’s not free. You don’t buy a brand new car and go “cool now I don’t have to pay for it right because that makes sense to me so there can’t be any consequences of not paying this off cool beans”. How do so many people act surprised that their car is getting taken when clearly they didn’t make payments on it. And they know they didn’t. And then they stand there wondering why the hell they are loosing their car.
I’ve probably repeated the same thing seventeen times now I know, but it just bothers me that EVERYONE acts that way on these stupid shows. I have not seen ONE SINGLE PERSON go “oh crap yeah I guess I do have to lose my car since I haven’t been paying for it you’re right”. Nope. Always “WHAT DA HELL YOU MEAN IMMA LOSE MY CAR? I DIDN’T MAKE PAYMENTS? WELL THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO TAKE MY CAR”.
PEOPLE. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HOW THINGS WORK. WHY ARE YOU EVEN DRIVING IF YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND THAT SIMPLE CONCEPT.
And then the people that try to fight them, or even worse pull a gun out on them and try to kill them for coming to take their car. Why is that a good idea to anyone. Why. There is no situation what-so-ever where opposing a repo crew with force and guns and violence will work out for you. None.
Maybe I just don’t understand how most people’s brains function though. Maybe that’s it. If someone else understands, please tell me. I beg of you, I’m missing something because I don’t understand.
The only thing I really understand slightly is the anger- yeah, losing your car is a major inconvenience and it really sucks and ruins a lot of things. But then hey, you’re the reason you’re losing your car, because you wouldn’t be losing it if you just made the payments. Then yes, on the other hand there are the people that just can’t afford to make the payments- that also sucks majorly, and in this economy it’s really easy to go broke really fast. But everyone on these shows looks like they could indeed make the car payments, or that they could have done something to help themselves out beforehand instead of standing there and looking so shocked that not paying for their car = not paying for their car and .`. means losing said car in any equation you put it into, so I’m focused more on the people that could pay off their car, but don’t. WHY?
Pay off your car and you keep it. Don’t pay for your car and it gets repossessed, DON’T ACT SO SURPRISED IT’S NOT GOD DAMN ROCKET SCIENCE. D:<
-slumps over onto the floor-
I need a life so I don’t have time to think about things to rant about. ._.;
But I’m going to try it anyways- Please note this might be totally confusing and stupid and I’m sorry if it is. My brain is barely awake… Egh. I’m tying things up anyways.
I think I don’t like to be perfectly content for any extended period of time…
I can become happy. Overjoyed. Simply full of glee and I’m just so happy that some people exist and I love everything and I think nothing can get me down.
Then I do something to disrupt these happy thoughts:
I get on tumblr. Or youtube. Or facebook. Or deviantart. Or overall, just something of that sort. And I always happen to be lucky enough to find something upsetting- something about a person(s) making fun of another group/individual, or dissing completely on someone for no reason, or calling out one person based on what others of similar beliefs to theirs do, or people just being horrible or completely insensitive and rude, or people pretending to have some disease or illness and making a joke out of it, or people just… Just, you know? Right? Yeah. BAH. And I just… I just read it, and I get pissed off and feel the need to read more and find out if this is someone being for real and wonder how someone can actually think like that, think it’s okay to do that stuff or be that horrible to some other people, and it gets worse and then I spiral into a deep seeded hatred for humanity and I forget about all of the amazingly nice people there are for a while as I am introduced to some of the lurking but ever present scum of humanity and I just can’t even comprehend why people would say some of the things they do, why we judge each other so much, why we can’t just love each other and accept our differences and be OKAY with it and love ourselves for who we are and love others for who they are and… I… I don’t know. I don’t understand it. I’m sure there are plenty of things about me, that I say or do or whatever that come across wrong, or my opinion is just dumb or comes across to harsh towards some other group as I hope I don’t tend to do that (though perhaps “trolls” and people like this are even considered a group and I am being similar to them by ranting about this and dissing on them, and I guess I’m sorry about that, but at the same time I’m not because I feel they actually deserve it… I’m sure that makes me a hypocrite, but I don’t care.), that people don’t understand, and I say touche, but still… I can’t even. :/
It goes away. I regain some…. Well, I shouldn’t say faith in humanity, but I always get reminders that there are GOOD people out there that are simply amazing and it makes me feel better until I run into more things like what I stated above and the cycle repeats. Huzzah~
What is sleep?
This must be a troll blog. It just… Can’t be legit, lol, even though I KNOW there are people out there like that… But yeah, I’m thinking troll blog. Which in that respect, I can look at it in a funny way. If it’s not a troll blog, it makes me sad. :( BUT troll blog. Yes. This, I am tacking on as a fact. I can now not melt into a puddle and cry over society. Psh lol
But I’m going to rant about it anyways because I’m bored. And just for that slim chance that it’s legit, but no, must be troll blog. Aside from the obvious if you just read over the sidebar and the talk about weed and sex and just over-ridiculous-ness that makes it just too much to be for reals, some of the asks and her replies, I just… What? I can’t. Lol bah o_o;;;
Ask: lmao if your age is on the clock, its to young for the cock
Her reply: 12 isnt on the clock dumbass
What… I… 12 is on the clock. It’s always been on the clock. 12 AM and 12 PM. It’s at the top of the clock. If you honesty think 12 isn’t on the clock…. Do you even know what a clock is? o_o; THIS is why I
hope know it must be a troll blog ahaha. -eye twitch none the less-
Ask: im so sorry for the hate you’re getting :/
Her reply: your*
its okay atleast i have great people like you supported me :)
If it was to be legit, yeah, definably 12 if you don’t know proper grammar. She incorrectly corrected it. I don’t even… You’re was the correct term there. There is not form of possession, you are should go there, therefore you’re. What. I… Troll blog. Obviously troll blog. I have to remind myself this so I can remember and then laugh and get many chuckles from her blog instead of a headache. :’3
Ask: If your mom follows you, why would you post things about receiving nude pictures or smoking weed?
Her reply: its okay she doesnt have to no ;)
She would obviously know if she followed you because if she follows you, she would see it. What. Silly troll blog is trolling. Pft
THIS IS WHY TROLL BLOG. I take it in my mind to be a troll blog and you can’t convince me otherwise, I refuse, I see no way that it couldn’t be a troll blog. So, because troll blog, I think I might follow just to lol because it is a troll. Knowing it is a troll blog makes it quite funny, actually… That is what I am going to do. Or I’m just going to facepalm myself to death because even if it’s a troll I can’t handle this, I don’t know. Maybe… No, no follow, but I will check in on it at random. Hmmm yes, I don’t think I want it on my dash, lol.
Ask: Are you a vergin?
Her reply: *Vurgin.
No one in there right mind would spell it that way. Yay troll blog! But still bah. Lolwhut (and because I can’t help it, *Virgin, there o_o)
I don’t even know why I’m talking about this if I decided it was a troll blog from the start, I still let it bother me. I think mostly because I know people that legitimately think these things and I’ve seem people make legit fails similar to these. These are the people that I want to smack and as what the hell is wrong with them.
Clever troll is clever. :P
And I said “troll blog” too many times.
It doesn’t even sound like a word anymore.
And I probably make no sense because it’s 3:05 and I need sleep…. x_x
One day, I want to be able to answer a question that some random person asks me without having everything my brain ever attempted to learn about social interaction jump out of my ear and commit suicide. You know, instead of sounding stupid and being awkward and saying things that end up not making sense but I go with them anyways because I don’t know what to do with myself when out amongst my fellow human beings.
Everything I ever say ends up coming out stupid.
Is there a cure for this?
Duct tape it is then. :’3
But in all seriousness, honestly, I wish I could communicate properly with other people. With my friends, it’s not as bad, or at least they are used to me enough to perhaps not notice/overlook it, but I just can’t function properly around people.
I hate pop questions. “Oh hey hi, what is this?” asks some random person that comes up to me. Then my brain’s response is to go "oh shi- what do I say who am I again I forget the question quick try to sound clever but lol jk I’m going to mess up what you mean to say and make you sound stupid and also I give you the ability to not just shut up and stop talking and walk away while you can still climb out of the hole you’ve dug yourself into hahaha good luck with that" and that is why my response to “where are the restrooms located?” comes out something like “I uh think there um well I don’t uh hi uh I’m not sure I just um they might be back that way but uhhhh go ask someone else D:!” and I have a mini hart attack and I panic and then I feel horrible about the stupid I just released and mull over it for at least a month afterward. >_>;
Totally awesome too when I end up sounding stupid in front of people at my school. Yay I get to deal with them thinking I’m some blubbering derp-face for the rest of the year. Hooray. I probably worry about it too much, but according to how my mind functions, they clearly look at me and only thing of every stupid thing I’ve ever said and they must think I should go back to first grade and eat glue. Baahhhhhh
Then it bothers me that this bothers me so much. Because I feel like I shouldn’t have any reason to complain or anything, and I post things like this anyway, and I imagine people read it like ‘Oh wow cool. Not. Shut up and go away with your problems, you’re seeking attention and just being a complaining bitch go die in a hole how dare you share you’re petty problems with the world pffftttttttt” and yeah I know, sorry, but asdfsjgbkdhbasjglb o_o
I’ve already posted something silimar to this. Gosh, me, shut up and go lay down or something. |:<
As is customary, here have a random GIF at the end of this wall of text:
Bah. I’m going to drop kick my tablet off of a building. A very tall building, with politicians gathered around the bottom of it. That way, it will break because they are hard-headed enough to act as some form of concrete and I trust in it to kill at least one of them; at the very least, injure one of them severely.
Although… On second thought, they might start a bill to ban tablets for being dangerous instruments of murder and death that will harm society if we don’t stop them now. Or that tablets are not politically correct. Or something like that. ._.
BUT HEY, I’m getting sidetracked. I was writing this to rant, and that’s what I’m going to do, so I do so apologize ahead of time if you are taking up the task of reading this through until the end. I’ll add some snazzy gif or something to make it at least semi-worth it.
My tablet is a poopy-face tomato nose. It had a horrible habit of deciding NOT to work when I REALLY want it to, and when I have the best urges and motivation to make some digital art. If I don’t want to do crap, it’s like “Heeyyy… Yeah I’m working. Too bad your muse is not, so you can’t even use me ahahahaha”. Then, whenever I WANT to use it decides to go “What? You actually want to use me? Look, I know I was working 30 minutes ago when you didn’t need me, but… Lolfuckthat, I’m not going to work. Have fun wasting all this time you could be drawing things. Hahaha!”.
Tablet, you are very mean, and I don’t like you very much at this current point in time. |:
Today, it decided to be glitchy and not draw properly on Paint Tool SAI, so I restarted my computer in order to- or really, in the HOPES of- getting it to work. So instead of working better, it just decided to not even work at all. OKAY. THAT’S COOL. WHATEVER.
GAH why does it hate me? Ffffffff
TL;DR: My tablet is a bitch and it hates me. It’s boycotting the making of any arts at the moment, therefore I am going to punch it in the face. :’3
Oh, yeah, and here’s that gif I promised, btw~
I want one as a pet. I would call him Handy.